APS News

May 1998 (Volume 7, Number 5)

Zero Gravity: The Lighter Side of Science

Useful Research Phrases

"It has long been known" ...I didn't look up the original reference.

"A definite trend is evident" ...These data are practically meaningless.

"Of great theoretical and practical importance" ...Interesting to me.

"While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to these questions" ... An unsuccessful experiment but I still have to get it published.

"Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study" ...The results of the others didn't make any sense.

"Typical results are shown" ...The best results are shown.

"These results will be shown in a subsequent report" ...I might get around to this sometime if I'm pushed.

"The most reliable results are those obtained by Jones" ...He was my graduate assistant.

"It is believed that" ...I think

"It is generally believed that" ...A couple of other guys think so, too.

"It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding occurs" ... I don't understand it.

"Correct within an order of magnitude" ...Wrong

"It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigations in this field" . This is a lousy paper, but so are all the others on this miserable topic.

"Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to George Frink for valuable assistance" ...Blotz did the work and Frink explained to me what it meant.

"A careful analysis of obtainable data" ...Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer.

APS encourages the redistribution of the materials included in this newspaper provided that attribution to the source is noted and the materials are not truncated or changed.

Editor: Barrett H. Ripin

May 1998 (Volume 7, Number 5)

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Articles in this Issue
Highest Number of Jobs Available at the APS March Meeting in Decade
DPP Science Day and Expo Targets High School Students, Teachers
Online Abstract Submission is Easy
APS Mass Media Fellow Wins National Press Award
Unit Briefs
Physicist to be Honored at DAMOP '98
A Century of Physics
Special Centennial Issue of Reviews of Modern Physics Planned
Zero Gravity: The Lighter Side of Science
APS Views: 1997 Annual Report Highlights
Inside the Beltway
The Back Page